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Musings: What are we all waiting for?

Just like Roz from Monster's Inc is always watching, I'm always waiting. I mean, this post has been an idea for a while and in my drafts for a few weeks because I've been waiting to get it written and then find an image for it.

Don't get me wrong, it's not just this blog post I'm waiting for. I feel like I've always got a little bit of my life on hold, just waiting for the right time.  And I'm sure I'm not the only person doing this.


Part of it may stem from our desire for perfection. Constantly waiting for the right moment, only realising too late the moment is gone without the chance to experience it.And the other part, I'm pretty sure comes from laziness.
For me, the one thing I'm forever waiting for is to lose weight.

Now, reader, I'm sure you're aware more than I am, that's it's probably not going to happen. Yes, we've established I can lose weight, we've established I can put it all back on and then some too. But the thing is, I'm always wanting more, and I'm never quite happy. I'm still waiting for more weight to be lost before I can do anything. I could probably be skeletal (fat chance of that happening, but still, use your imaginations with me please) and think, just a few more pounds, and then I'll be ready. But ready for what?

I've put so much of my life on hold because I've been waiting until I'm a magic size where everything is ready and waiting for me to seize it. But life doesn't work like that. Time has already gone, I can't go back and do things. From little things like, I can't go back and just buy that dress in a bigger size and embrace my fuller figure wearing it, all the way to the bigger things like the days or nights out I've passed up because I felt too fat to go. It's crazy.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has a wardrobe full of clothes that you're waiting to wear? And then it's not even until you've lost those extra pounds. It's waiting for the right occasion to wear it. I know I always buy nice clothes and then wait for an occasion to come round to wear it, and then because I'm waiting to lose weight before I actually do anything the occasion never comes round so I'm left with a wardrobe full of clothes that I never fucking wear because I'm just sat on my arse that's growing larger whilst I wait. It's an endless, and ridiculous, cycle.

Not even thinking about weight but to other areas of life, we're waiting for. Are you always waiting for the right time to get in touch with people? Like, it's too early to do it now so I'll do it later and then you forget and then it's three weeks later and you still haven't spoken to your best friend or booked your dentist appointment. We're always saying how we miss people, yet are constantly waiting to get in touch with them or see them. Or perhaps we're holding off booking a trip because we're waiting to see what happens in another part of our lives, or perhaps we're waiting for a trip to happen before we can do anything else. Last year I went to New Zealand for most of March and spent from the December onwards always saying 'Oh I'll do that after New Zealand.' I don't know why. Nothing magical happened after New Zealand that gave me an infinite amount of extra time to do things. I just put my life on hold because I was waiting for that trip. It's stupid.

It's like in The Holiday where Kate Winslet's character is sitting there hating "her horrible life" as she's sat waiting for Jasper to fall in love with her (why she likes that Hugh Grant in Bridget Jones knock-off is beyond me, but whatever) and things to get better. But then she takes her life into her own hands and books the house swap with Cameron Diaz, flies across the world, makes a top-notch friend, falls in love and becomes the leading lady in her own life damn it.

Ok, maybe that's a bit of a loose analogy and shows I watch The Holiday too much, but do you get what I mean. More often than not, waiting for things to happen just doesn't make things any better.

There are few things you should wait for in life. Christmas pudding to soak in the brandy, the traffic lights to change colour when you're crossing the road and the kettle to fully boil when making a hot drink to name a few. But where possible, let's stop waiting and just start doing. Maybe things will go wrong (they most certainly will), but surely it's better to regret doing something than regret not?

I read one of Laura Jane Williams' articles for RED Magazine about how she's stopped saving items for the right time, and just wearing them whenever she likes, and I'm just like yes girl! That is what we should all be doing. Because surely we always want to feel our best, right? So now I'm starting to wear clothes that I like whenever I want to, not just when the occasion suits. Using my favourite/'for best' crockery (god I sound 80) when I eat and just using the things I own rather than staring at them as they collect dust and wait for the perfect time that's never going to arrive for me to use them.

It's time to stop waiting and start doing because the only thing holding so many of us back, is ourselves.



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