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Musings: Remembering why you started

Sometimes we can get to a stage in our journey where the scales won't budge, where we just want to eat a whole god damn chocolate bar and not worry about it going straight to our hips and thighs and causing a 5lb weight gain, where we still feel like a beached whale when we look in the mirror and when we just want to throw the towel in because it's hard and it takes time.

My fitness motivation page is dedicated to inspire anyone that likes fitness and wants to achieve a #fit and #healthy body.

As someone who has thrown in the towel multiple times before, and who is desperate not to chuck it in again, I'm writing down what made me start to lose weight and why it's worth fighting to keep it off.

1) To be able to go into high street shops and my biggest worry to be if I can afford something, not whether they have the size I'm after or whether I'll be able to squeeze into the biggest size they have.

2) To not have the constant fear that people are judging me because of my weight. I don't want to be scared of meeting new people, or doing things by myself because I'm scared of my weight and how I look. I want to feel confident in myself (which I know should not be linked to appearances, but I'm human and it is. My confidence is already increasing with the weight I've already lost.)

3) To not have to worry if I'm going to fit into places. Going through restaurants that have tight spaces, having to sit in a chair that has arms each side, doing up the seat belt on planes etc. The more weight I'm losing, the smaller my fear of being stuck is getting.

4) To not feel like my heart is going to explode after going up a flight of stairs, and not wheezing after having to move to a brisk pace when walking down the road.

5) To know that if I do get health problems in the future, my weight isn't causing them.

6) To actually feel my age. It sound strange but I've been thinking about this a lot recently, I'm 22 and I've always dressed to 'suit my body', and always been 'a big girl for her age'. I've never felt my age, and whilst I'm perfectly happy to go to bed early and staying in on the weekend, I'd for once like to have the body of my age and be able to dress for it.

7) To think that if someone needed to give me a piggyback they'd be able to without injuring themselves.

8) To stop me knees and feet from hurting from carrying a heavy amount of weight around everyday.

9) To be a good role model for any children I may have in the future. I want to have my healthy lifestyle sorted so that I can raise them to lead one too.

10) To actually accomplish something. For once I'd like to actually reach my goal instead of quitting when it gets tough.

11) To rock a bikini on the beach on holiday. I have no recollection of ever wearing a bikini in my adult life and that makes me sad. This year I will and I'll be proud!!!!

12) To stop feeling lethargic all day. Whilst nine times out of ten I'll be feeling tired, it's a different kind of tired to the sort of tiredness I felt when I was four stone heavier.

13) To not have my weight to blame for anything. For not going out, for not buying t-shirt, for not taking up a great opportunity, for not going on a ride at a theme park, for not holding me back.

14) To not be identified as 'the fat one'.

15) To be remembered for something else other than my weight.

16) To be proud of myself and have others proud of me too.

I've realised this post may be a little deeper than I first envisioned but I'd love to hear your reasons around why you started too.