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Musings: Brain and body miscommmunication

Positive body image - the fruit way!

When I started this blog I thought it would be a great way for me to document my journey, however I've found it to become more of a place for me to share recipes and progress (which is still great) so today I decided to write a blog post which sums up some of the feelings I've been having the last couple of days.

Since 30th July 2014 I have lost over 3st, I've gained energy, found a new love for food and cooking, have managed to run 5miles and have really surprised myself at how motivated I've kept myself on this journey and made it a lifestyle change rather than a diet. This is something I've never accomplished before. The most I've ever lost it 2.5st and I've never had such a good record for losing weight. However, I'd never been as big as I was when I started this journey, and when I started this journey I didn't realise how big I had actually gotten; and it's only now I'm 3st down that I'm beginning to comprehend that.

On Wednesday I found out that over the Christmas period I'd lost 3.5lbs and have a grand total of 45lbs lost to my name; the week before that I found out I'm no longer obese but just overweight. Now, any other time I would've been thrilled, well and truly; however for some reason I can't get over the fact that I still look big! I realise I sound silly, and that my focus should be on how far I've come rather than how far I have to go but I just can't shake the fact that I've worked so hard and yet I'm still not slim.

To be honest, it all boils down the to the superficial point of clothes. It's so stupid isn't it? Just like I know I shouldn't let the scales get me down, I also need to realise I shouldn't let clothes size and fit get me down; but it is. My clothes pre WW are falling off or are so big the make me look bigger, however my clothes from when I've previously slimmed down are still a touch off fitting. When it comes to buying new clothes I still find it hard to gauge exactly what size I am, and I also don't want to buy too much as I know soon they won't be fitting again. So I'm put in the same position as pre WW where I have lots of clothes but nothing to wear. Which I know is such a first world problem and I really need to get over myself, but it's really getting to me.

Surely I've earnt the right to wear whatever clothes I want and to feel confident in them? Yes confidence comes from within, but when I look in the mirror, yes I see a smaller body, but it's still. My boobs are still bigger than my belly (why are your boobs always the first to go) and my lumps and bumps go in the wrong places. I wish I could focus on the fact that my bum has toned up from all my running and my legs are looking good to, or the fact I'm slowly starting to get some arm definition, but I can't. I can just see the girl who is wearing clothes that 'suit her' not what she wants to be wearing.

I know that this phase will pass and I hope that one day I'll look back at this post and it will remind me of how far I've come; but at the moment, I'd really like my brain and body to match up and to pull myself out of this funk!

Any ideas more than welcome.


  1. I have lost 71 pounds with Gods help at age 62. My advice:

    Go through your closet, pull out everything too big. Try it on, if it doesnt flatter you, lay it aside. If you truly love a piece, keep it.

    Then go to a thrift store, pick out a smaller size, ot what you think might fit. Try it on, purchase only what flatters you and truly makes you feel good. This may take a couple of hours.

    When you get home, give away all the too big clothes that do not flatter you or make you feel attractive.
    I have gone through my closet at least three times and given away lots.

    Since I go to Thrift stores/ Goodwill i can buy a lot more. My closet is still too full and i only wear what makes me feel good. Found a lot of nice things actually. I get a lot of compliments too.

    My closet is like the tides, clothing in, clothing out. LOL.

  2. Thank you so much. I definitely think a de-clutter and clear out would help!

    Congratulations on such an amazing loss!