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Musings: Why is it not ok to love the skin you're in?

Often I have a blog post planned for about a week in advance, ‘cause I’m a planner and more often than not I’ll have a flood of blog post ideas come at me all at once, and then some weeks with absolutely no inspiration at all.

(Great, uninvited insight into my brain there, you’re welcome!) 

(Also, totally unrelated picture, I couldn't think of what else to do in a short space of time, so I thought a picture of me from a holiday in Devon last year where I felt happy in my own skin would be fitting!)

Today’s blog post is one of those spur of the moments ideas that came at me after reading this article

Although, not just this article, but the comments below it (which I’m kind of hoping haven’t been deleted so you can see what I mean, but also hope they have as they’re pretty disgusting.)

I also read this article the day after ITV’s This Morning did their piece on Body Shaming with Fearne McCanne. Now I didn’t actually watch the segment, but I did have a read through the hashtag afterwards, and it’s something that’s got my fingers twitching needing to say something.

In my ‘draft’ folder on this blog I have a half written blog post about confidence. It’s something I know I’m lacking and something I inspire to have, however there’s something about the post that’s not quite right so it’s just sat there, waiting for me to figure out what I can do to make it publishable.

As someone who has been overweight their whole life, my confidence has taken a good knock. I’m one of those people who loves to give other people compliments as I know it can make a person’s day, but when someone pays one to me I’m always quick to dismiss it and give a negative reason behind it. I just can’t help it.

In my head I have Regina George from Mean Girl’s playing. You know the whole ‘I love your skirt where did you get it?’ ‘That’s the ugliest effing skirt I’ve ever seen’, scene playing. But hey, maybe I should leave my post about paranoia till another time….

I know I’m not alone in this, and deep down I know it’s not because of my size. People of all shapes and sizes can suffer with their confidence, and people of all shapes and sizes can be so confident they leave me in awe.

Confidence isn’t a shape or a size; it’s a state of mind. It’s about learning to love yourself, inside and out.

There are some amazing people online who fully love themselves and aren’t afraid to show it. 

However for each one of those people, there are ten others ready to pull them down, leaving the rest of us who don’t have this confidence to shy away even more.

Since starting documenting my weight loss journey and following others journeys I’ve had my eyes opened to these powerful, confident people who love their bodies no matter what their size or shape, and they really are empowering. I find it fabulous how these people can put themselves out there and say ‘I love my body, I am proud of who I am, eff your beauty standards.’

I’ve also had my eyes opened to a lot of negativity to. People, whose bodies I’d kill to have, post pictures of themselves criticising every single thing they don’t like about themselves. I often find myself unfollowing some people because I can see their negativity is rubbing off on me, and in my eyes that’s just as unhealthy as sitting on your butt shovelling chocolate into your gob.

Don’t get me wrong, I can completely understand that. I’ve said before that the reason I think I was so successful at the start of my weight was because I was propelled by my hatred of how I looked and how I felt in my own skin. And what do you know, as soon as I started to feel more comfortable in my body, the weight slowed down and I started to relax a little bit.  

I’m now, however, back to not feeling happy with how my body looks and that’s driving me a little again, but it’s a habit I need to break. You attract more flies with honey than vinegar right? So why is it so hard to love the skin you’re in?

In the article that started this mammoth blog post, it mentions how a lot of weight loss plans feed on people’s insecurities, which they do, but they’re applauding Weight Watchers for the way they’re getting their members to embrace the skin they’re in.

Which is fabulous!

But now I’m about to discuss the second part of this rant (yeah, soz, it’s not over yet.)


There’s this ‘idealistic’ size in society that people seem to deem ok, and whenever anybody claims they love themselves, or even like themselves, people seem to think it’s ok to drag them down.

Spoiler alert: IT’S NOT OK!

I’m sure a lot of it is the whole jealousy thing, not just jealousy of looks but jealousy of the confidence thing. But part of me thinks it’s something else. (Not just that people have too much time on their hands and need to get a life, ‘cause yeah, I think that too.)

What this something else is, I’m not too sure. But it’s there.

I agree, being overweight isn’t healthy, but being overweight and mentally berating yourself for being overweight is even more unhealthy right?

I’d much rather my kids (if I’m lucky enough to have some at some point) grow up with role models who are promoting self love, than role models who have unrealistic body goals ‘cause whenever you see them they’ve been photo shopped.

Take for example the whole Ashley Graham on the cover of Sports Illustrated debacle. Now Ashely Graham is a gorgeous lady, with a bangin’ bod. Why shouldn’t she be on the cover of a magazine? But so many people were quick to judge, and tear her down, saying her size isn’t healthy. She’s an American size 16, which I think is a UK 12? HOW ON EARTH IS THAT TOO BIG?

(I could go on a whole other rant, and maybe I will another time, about clothes sizes and ‘the perfect size….)

It makes me so angry to see things like that, and know that younger girls can see stuff like that and it’s no wonder that so many people have such low confidence.

I fully applaud all the women who took their kit off for the Weight Watchers magazine shoot. Their bodies are beautiful and it shows that women come in all different shapes and sizes.

Other people need to pull their heads out of their own arse and realise that that’s ok. Not everyone looks the same and everybody has the right to feel proud of their body, whatever their size.

Whilst there are so many weight loss programmes people can follow and join, but where are the clubs that are teaching us to love ourselves the way we are.

I follow quite a few people who, yes they want to lose some weight and become healthier, are so accepting of their bodies and use that as a motive to move forward. Because they love their bodies so much they want to do the best for themselves.

I reckon if more people loved themselves, they'd be less likely to tear others down.

So to all those people body shaming people who have the confidence to say 'yes, I love my body. My imperfections are what make me perfect,' SHAME ON YOU. 'Cause really, you're the ones who should be shamed.  

I want to end this post/rant with another Mean Girls quote.

‘Calling somebody else fat, won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter [...] all you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.'

Peace and love.

p.s I'm very lucky to be able to say I've never had someone 'shame' or be rude to me during my time online, and honestly, I'm so grateful for that. Thank you.