Often I have a blog post planned for about a week in
advance, ‘cause I’m a planner and more often than not I’ll have a flood of blog
post ideas come at me all at once, and then some weeks with absolutely no
inspiration at all.
(Great, uninvited insight into my brain there, you’re
welcome!)
(Also, totally unrelated picture, I couldn't think of what else to do in a short space of time, so I thought a picture of me from a holiday in Devon last year where I felt happy in my own skin would be fitting!)
Today’s blog post is one of those spur of the moments ideas
that came at me after reading this
article.
Although, not just this article, but the comments below it (which
I’m kind of hoping haven’t been deleted so you can see what I mean, but also
hope they have as they’re pretty disgusting.)
I also read this article the day after ITV’s This Morning
did their piece on Body Shaming with Fearne McCanne. Now I didn’t actually watch
the segment, but I did have a read through the hashtag afterwards, and it’s
something that’s got my fingers twitching needing to say something.
In my ‘draft’ folder on this blog I have a half written blog
post about confidence. It’s something I know I’m lacking and something I inspire
to have, however there’s something about the post that’s not quite right so it’s
just sat there, waiting for me to figure out what I can do to make it
publishable.
As someone who has been overweight their whole life, my
confidence has taken a good knock. I’m one of those people who loves to give
other people compliments as I know it can make a person’s day, but when someone
pays one to me I’m always quick to dismiss it and give a negative reason behind
it. I just can’t help it.
In my head I have Regina George from Mean Girl’s playing.
You know the whole ‘I love your skirt where did you get it?’ ‘That’s the ugliest
effing skirt I’ve ever seen’, scene playing. But hey, maybe I should leave my
post about paranoia till another time….
I know I’m not alone in this, and deep down I know it’s not
because of my size. People of all shapes and sizes can suffer with their
confidence, and people of all shapes and sizes can be so confident they leave
me in awe.
Confidence isn’t a shape or a size; it’s a state of mind. It’s
about learning to love yourself, inside and out.
There are some amazing people online who fully love
themselves and aren’t afraid to show it.
However for each one of those people,
there are ten others ready to pull them down, leaving the rest of us who don’t
have this confidence to shy away even more.
Since starting documenting my weight loss journey and
following others journeys I’ve had my eyes opened to these powerful, confident
people who love their bodies no matter what their size or shape, and they
really are empowering. I find it fabulous how these people can put themselves
out there and say ‘I love my body, I am proud of who I am, eff your beauty
standards.’
I’ve also had my eyes opened to a lot of negativity to.
People, whose bodies I’d kill to have, post pictures of themselves criticising
every single thing they don’t like about themselves. I often find myself
unfollowing some people because I can see their negativity is rubbing off on
me, and in my eyes that’s just as unhealthy as sitting on your butt shovelling
chocolate into your gob.
Don’t get me wrong, I can completely understand that. I’ve
said before that the reason I think I was so successful at the start of my
weight was because I was propelled by my hatred of how I looked and how I felt
in my own skin. And what do you know, as soon as I started to feel more
comfortable in my body, the weight slowed down and I started to relax a little
bit.
I’m now, however, back to not feeling happy with how my body
looks and that’s driving me a little again, but it’s a habit I need to break.
You attract more flies with honey than vinegar right? So why is it so hard to
love the skin you’re in?
In the article that started this mammoth blog post, it
mentions how a lot of weight loss plans feed on people’s insecurities, which
they do, but they’re applauding Weight Watchers for the way they’re getting
their members to embrace the skin they’re in.
Which is fabulous!
But now I’m about to discuss the second part of this rant
(yeah, soz, it’s not over yet.)
HOW ARE WE EXPECTED TO LOVE OURSELVES WHEN OTHERS ARE SO
QUICK TO DRAG US DOWN.
There’s this ‘idealistic’ size in society that people seem
to deem ok, and whenever anybody claims they love themselves, or even like themselves, people seem to think it’s
ok to drag them down.
Spoiler alert: IT’S NOT OK!
I’m sure a lot of it is the whole jealousy thing, not just
jealousy of looks but jealousy of the confidence thing. But part of me thinks it’s
something else. (Not just that people have too much time on their hands and
need to get a life, ‘cause yeah, I think that too.)
What this something else is, I’m not too sure. But it’s
there.
I agree, being overweight isn’t healthy, but being
overweight and mentally berating yourself for being overweight is even more
unhealthy right?
I’d much rather my kids (if I’m lucky enough to have some at
some point) grow up with role models who are promoting self love, than role
models who have unrealistic body goals ‘cause whenever you see them they’ve
been photo shopped.
Take for example the whole Ashley Graham on the cover of Sports
Illustrated debacle. Now Ashely Graham is a gorgeous lady, with a bangin’
bod. Why shouldn’t she be on the cover of a magazine? But so many people were
quick to judge, and tear her down, saying her size isn’t healthy. She’s an
American size 16, which I think is a UK 12? HOW ON EARTH IS THAT TOO BIG?
(I could go on a whole other rant, and maybe I will another
time, about clothes sizes and ‘the perfect size….)
It makes me so angry to see things like that, and know that
younger girls can see stuff like that and it’s no wonder that so many people
have such low confidence.
I fully applaud all the women who took their kit off for the
Weight Watchers magazine shoot. Their bodies are beautiful and it shows that
women come in all different shapes and sizes.
Other people need to pull their heads out of their own arse and
realise that that’s ok. Not everyone looks the same and everybody has the right to feel proud of their body, whatever their size.
Whilst there are so many weight loss programmes people can follow and join, but where are the clubs that are teaching us to love ourselves the way we are.
I follow quite a few people who, yes they want to lose some weight and become healthier, are so accepting of their bodies and use that as a motive to move forward. Because they love their bodies so much they want to do the best for themselves.
I reckon if more people loved themselves, they'd be less likely to tear others down.
So to all those people body shaming people who have the confidence to say 'yes, I love my body. My imperfections are what make me perfect,' SHAME ON YOU. 'Cause really, you're the ones who should be shamed.
I want to end this post/rant with another Mean Girls quote.
‘Calling somebody else fat, won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter [...] all you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.'
Peace and love.
p.s I'm very lucky to be able to say I've never had someone 'shame' or be rude to me during my time online, and honestly, I'm so grateful for that. Thank you.
