Musings: Wouldn’t it be great if everyone just ate in moderation?

I was talking to my friend the other day, my friend who, like me, also struggles with her weight and is never happy with how she looks (can I get an ‘I hear ya sister’?) and she mentioned something her boyfriend said that struck a chord with me.

Apparently, he looked at her Weight Watchers Magazine and said ‘Imagine what the world would be like if everyone just ate in moderation?’

This is something my dad always says to me.

Now, I like my friend's boyfriends, he’s great, but he’s a typical ‘skinny’ person. He didn't mean it maliciously, he just said it off hand and my friend told me 'cause she knew I'd get it. But it made me think. So many people have said to me in the past, maybe you should just eat a bit less.

And so many people are experts on how to lose weight.

Just eat less and move more, right? I mean, it’s not rocket science.

But, if you’re a fat person (I use 'fat person' here as someone who struggles with their weight), it’s really not that easy. 

Because not only do I wish I could eat in moderation, I also wish I could:

• Just have one biscuit rather than downing a whole pack in less than ten minutes
• Not think about that piece of chocolate that’s been sat in the fridge for a whole hour without being touched
• Look at a plate of food and not think how ‘bad’ it is for you, but how good it’ll taste
• Be able to look at a meal and not automatically think of an item of clothing that’s sat in my wardrobe waiting for me to shrink it
• To be able to look at my ‘skinny’ friends who can eat whatever they want and not gain weight without turning green with jealousy
• To have just a couple of moments a day where I’m not thinking about food
• To be able to listen to my body and understand what it needs
• To eat without calculating how many hours I’m going to have to spend in ‘burning it off’
• To be able to look at a piece of food without knowing the exact amount of calories/Syns/Points/macros that lie within it
• To not be racked with guilt after eating everything in sight
• Not be overcome with self-loathing after eating an item of food that I ‘shouldn’t’

It would be great if we could do all these things, but it’s just not that simple is it? And I think that’s one of the most difficult things about being a ‘fat person' that many don’t understand.

Because the thing is, I know it’s easy to lose weight. I know that I just need to eat a bit less, work out more and consume treats in moderation; but it’s really not that simple.

When you’ve grown up being overweight, and constantly trying to change that about yourself, you gain habits that are hard to break.

It’s not as simple as eating less and moving more – it’s something that is ingrained in your mind. 

You've restricted yourself so much, followed so many eating 'rules' that you can't 'just eat in moderation.'

This is why I really want to stay away from weight loss groups. I have nothing against Weight Watchers or Slimming World or the people who follow the programmes. They’re great and, when followed correctly, they work. But I don’t want to live my life obsessed with the number of Points or Syns that are in food.

But I've got to admit, I’m struggling with this whole intuitive eating. 

I worry that I’m never going to be able to get the hang of just eating like a ‘normal’ person because I can’t just have one biscuit; I have to eat the pack or as many as I can until I feel sick and hate myself. And I know I could just stop eating biscuits, but a world without biscuits is not a world I want to be in.

So what do I do?

Because I’m not happy the size I am, but I’m also too lazy/stuck in my ways/in love with food etc. to be able to do anything about it apparently.

Anway!

What I'm trying to say is that, yes, I get it. If I wasn't such a greedy Gertrude and could eat in moderation, I probably would be a lot happier in myself and not be a consistent weight loss yo-yoer. 

But alas, life is just not that fair.