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Musings: What the actual eff?!

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Bit of context, I'm writing this on Wednesday night after being weighed and just setting it to go live Thursday morning for my Thursday blog post ('cause I'm anally retentive and post on a Monday and Thursday and can't break the schedule.)

So if you follow me on the social media's you will notice that last night I gained a pound!

And I know a pound really isn't that much, and most likely it's due to being a girl (cheers mother nature) but after staying the same two weeks previously after working my god damn ass off, I'm pissed off.

Severely pissed off to be exact. Some may say fuming.

I'm obviously doing the sensible thing and shunning the healthy dinner that was planned and nose diving into chocolate... It only seems fair when eating right isn't paying off. But I promise myself, and you guys as you're reading this, that tomorrow morning I'll be getting up, working out and generally going about kicking butt again because I'm not prepared to fail.

Get knocked  down and keep getting back up right?

However right now, I'm upset and angry.

I'm angry at the scales and I'm angry at my body. This isn't fair! *stomps feet like three year old who isn't allowed a new Elsa doll*

I mean I've been working really hard. I've been getting up early before work and working out. I've been resisting all the crap that's floating around my house and office (damn people who can eat without gaining weight!) and I've stuck to the plan.

So why the effin' hell, over the span of 3 consistent weeks, have I gained weight?

I know that eventually the I'll get what's due, nut honestly I can't help but get pissed off when I see people cheating the plan and getting away with big losses.

I love the Internet, and love the community I've found during this process, I feel like I've made some truly great friends which I'm so grateful for; but at the same time I'm shown all these other people who can get away with eating crap and still losing and I can't help but get upset.

I also know that once I've shared how I've gotten on at weigh in each week I'll have loads of people trying to make me feel better, which honestly is so nice, and I truly appreciate it, but when you feel as frustrated as I am now just makes things feel a little worse. So if you've left me a nice comment, please know I truly appreciate it even though I haven't replied.

'Cause I'm aware I still have a good total loss, but I'm still over a stone away from my lowest weight which is frustrating, and when you work really hard you want to see it reflected in some how. I'm also aware that my pictures show that I have lost weight, but I feel stuck and l'm working so hard to move forward and it's frustrating to not see it going down.

I cant' weigh in next week as I'm going to the theatre, but I will continue to work hard and hope that at some point this year, the scales will be kind to me.

'Cause right now, they really suck balls.