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Musings: Not being in control

I've mentioned before, and will probably mention it a thousand times again, this is not my first stint on Weight Watchers. I've done it twice previously.

The last time I did it I was at uni. I was in full control of everything I ate, what meals would be & when along with what was being stocked in the kitchen cupboards. Then I moved back home and things began to creep up on me again.

I still live out home with my parents (very happily so, actually) and I like to eat my evening meals with them. Whilst on a previous weight watchers excursion I would eat on my own, cooking my own separate meals, I really didn't want that this time.

My boyfriend also lives with his parents, so eating with him means eating what his parents cook.

Both of these were reasons I was hesitant for starting Weight Watchers again. The thought of not having the control, not knowing exactly how many points is in each meal because I can't weigh it out and being excluded from certain meals made me worry.

And it still does.

I've recently found out I'm a type A person. Whilst I haven't done in-dept research into the different types of people, I know enough to know I'm type A. I like things to be done in my own way, I'd rather do things myself than let others help and I like to be in control.

Now at home, I've slowly but surely taken on the role of chef. I cook 90% of the meals I eat at home, but I cook them for the whole family. Yes I may make three different variations of a meal to satisfy everyone at the table, but it means I know what's on my plate and how many points it is. I sit down each week with my mom to discuss which day's we're eating what, what we need to substitute in recipes to make them more WW friendly and things are going well.

However I'm still getting used to situations outside of home. I get a slight sense of fear when going to my boyfriends when we're told what we're having for dinner. I mentally start calculating points in my head, how it's going to work out etc. You see at home I feel like I can be bossy and say how to do things the WW way, but I'm far too polite to do it anywhere else. But do you know what? It always ends up working out fine.

So maybe I swap my day from Filling and Healthy to pointing, or perhaps thinks are slightly miscalculated. Life isn't going to end, my weight is still dropping and in my head I know that I can adapt. I've proved this to myself week in week out.

So why is it when new plans get mentioned I instantly panic? Who knows.

However I'm hoping that not only is my weight going to bugger off once and for all in this journey, I also hope my attitude to food changes, which I'm slowly starting to see it doing.

If this process is going to last this time, I can't put myself in a WW bubble and not doing anything that isn't a 100% on plan. I need to have confidence in myself to know that I can restrict myself alongside indulging myself to make this plan work.

Does anyone else feel the same way?


  1. exactly the same! I get so stressed when we're eating somewhere I can't track the content of I had to take a long hard look at myself a few weeks ago :(
    There's definitely a balance to be struck, sounds like you're doing really well :)

  2. It really is so tricky to get the right balance between enjoyment and staying in control. I guess that's one of things you have to learn on a journey like this.

    Thank you!

  3. […] stressed/on edge when I’m not in full control of what I’m eating, (which you can read here,) but today I thought I’d share with you how I deal with one of these obstacles: eating out. […]