For many of us, it can feel like we've been dieting our whole lives. Whether that's losing weight, maintaining weight, or even whilst we're gaining weight. It's always watching you, much like Roz in Monsters Inc
I often wonder if this whole weight loss thing is going to be in my life forever. Am I constantly going to be dealing with this battle?
But to be honest, that's far too deep and serious for how I want to be dealing with things at the moment, so instead of writing about that (I've already kind of done that here), I've decided to do a lil lol, make fun of myself kind of post, about the different things that prove you've been trying to diet for too long.
Please, enjoy!
- You know the points/syns/calorie value for every single thing on your plate, your partners plate and pretty much have a rough estimate and how much little old fluffy's meal would be too.
- You could open a pretty successful shop with the amount of different clothes sizes you have hanging in your wardrobe. You also have to constantly rotate what's going in to your wardrobe and what's going under the bed based on what fits you. It's either a fun event or a completely soul destroying one.
- Eating real bread makes you feel like you need to sit down with a cup of tea and calm yo bad self down 'cause wow you're a badass with your actual carbs. Especially if it's white bread you crazy cat you.
- Seasons changing can be a real wake up call 'cause like summer is just round the corner and FFS you can barely get your shorts from last year up past your thunder thighs, and omg please don't make me eat another salad. Fun times.
- You're constantly saying 'well, when I lose these next few lbs...'
- When people mention following a diet plan you can reply saying 'oh yeah, I tried that once...'
- People always ask if you're 'dieting at the moment?' Mate, my whole life is a diet, just right now though I'm going to eat that big slab of chocolate cake and I'd like to do so without the disappointing stare Tina!
- You've mastered the whole head shake, shoulder shrug, 'it's going ok' motion when people ask 'how's the diet going.' Mind your own damn business Brian, I ate cake for breakfast, then had a mild panic attack and ate a lettuce leaf for lunch if you must know!
- You wonder if there will ever be a day when you don't have a mild panic attack about what you're eating, and even more, that you won't feel horrendous guilt after eating something you know you probably shouldn't. Sigh.
- You forever want to sit on people who constantly eat crap yet have the body of a supermodel. Especially when they claim to not workout at all and just eat whatever they want. I hope you burn in hell Michelle.
- You have to constantly remember what weight you were the last time you met up with someone to see if you were bigger or smaller then and brace yourself for their comments based on how you look now. That hermit lifestyle is forever looking more appealing.
- Your life pretty much revolves around numbers. The number on the scales, the number of points/syns/calories in your food, the number in your clothes, the number of times you worked out that week, the number of biscuits you ate that day...
- You wonder what life would be like if, for just one day, weight loss didn't control your mind...
Leave me a comment, or tweet me on the ones I've missed or if you can relate to any of the above, I wanna know!
*the names used in this blog post are entirely fictional and no one was harmed in the making of this post.
